Elephant Sweater : Cuteness Made Physical

I have a bad habit of getting bored of a knitting project before it's cast off. Unfinished sweaters and shawls litter the graveyard of my good knitting intentions. However, that didn't happen with this sweater, which was finished just over a week after I purchased the yarn.

Blame the adorable elephant. Or its even more adorable recipient, who's turning one later this month. The pattern comes from Roo Designs, which seems to have produced a fleet of aww-inducing kiddie duds. The alligator, owl and whale patterns were also close seconds when I was picking one up at All Strung Out, but... you've gotta love a pachyderm.

I would also love to knit with the yarn, Mission Falls 136 Superwash, again. It's soft, squishy and superwash and comes in such lovely colours. I used Teal, Oyster and either Poppy or Russet (I lost the ball band) for this sweater, but am now imagining another in Thyme, Cornflower and Ink. But adult-sized, for me.

Classic Entertainment For The Children: Wallace And Gromit

People who have been reading this blog for a bit might have noticed that I link to the Onion's AV Club from time to time. I like them, and they like lists. Recently, they dedicated one to children's pop culture that adults could love, and it's really made me question my positive relationship with that site - How could I respect any place that would leave Wallace and Gromit off the list? Well, let me make up for their oversight, and in their own format too.

Marty Q. Protagitron: I don't know you guys personally, AV writers, but y'all suck. I'm sorry to use such vulgar Americanisms within the quaint British hearing of Wallace And Gromit, but there it is. No animated duo can bring joy to the hearts of both child and man like this hapless inventor and his much cleverer dog. Wallace and the mute Gromit wander through an eccentric, imaginary England that has kept all of its old charm - lace doilies on the furniture, three channels on the telly, and everything closed for a bank holiday - while opening itself to the fantastic. The moon is made of a Stilton-like cheese and penguins rob museums, but Wallace and Gromit still always make it home for tea.

My introduction to Wallace and Gromit came with the short The Wrong Trousers. It wasn't their first (that would be 1989's Oscar-nominated A Grand Day Out) but it's certainly their best. I was about eight, and I loved it then because it was a cracking good story. Gromit, with his prominent brow and resourceful nature, was also my Platonic ideal of dogdom. Now I appreciate its clever film allusions, from Hitchcock to silent classics. 2009's A Matter Of Loaf And Death even had a shout out to Aliens, but unlike some other flicks (ahem, Shrek), the jokes never get in the way of the story. Watching Wallace and Gromit in claymation action is like eating a big bowl of homemade oatmeal. It's hearty and comforting, without the regret that comes with indulging in the sugary pop candy of lesser kiddie fare.

Odd Questions My Dad Has Asked Me

Grand news! I am moving to Victoria, BC, for a job! I'll be there for at least 44 weeks (well, unless I'm a total washout, but let's not think of that now - instead, let's great ready for the THUNDER of EMPLOYMENT and the THRILLS of LEARNING.) So, I am busy readying my supply of polar fleece and bulk food containers for the trip.

Sadly, this means I will soon be a 6-8 hour flight away from my family. I will miss them all terribly, although my kind, understanding father has one odd habit that has left me feeling I was living in a Quiz Bowl for the past two weeks. He asks questions. Lots of questions.

Most of which I do not know the answer to.

For your and my amusement, here's a list of five random questions he asked me today, to which my answer was either "I don't know" or "I'm not sure, but..."

1. A list of all the cookies offered at the cookie bakery I visited in New York, almost 18 months ago.

2. What the Russian people thought of Dostoevsky.

3. If there were any real Jewish restaurants left in Montreal, besides the delis.

4. Why k-os would write a song about Natalie Portman.

5. If there was any great writer or thinker no one had ever made a great documentary about... yet.

Guelph By The Thingies: Hillside Mug

The Hillside Music Festival is just big enough that it sells out every year, and just small enough that I still ended up proselytizing about it to people in Montreal. This weekend-long tribute to music and the crunchy arts is well-known in most Canadian music circles, to be fair. But get away from seasoned CBC listeners, or even just cross the provincial border, and many people don't know it exists.

Which is a shame, because Hillside always has a decent lineup. And it doesn't make you pay 4-8$ for a bottle of water. No, all of its food comes from a rotating roster of local restaurants and catering companies, there's a water truck for you to fill up your reusable bottle and you get a special plastic mug in which to deposit your beer.

You can also take a break from the music whenever you need to, and learn how to vermicompost or parse the difference between brownies and imps. (I wouldn't know, as I couldn't work up the courage to attend Fairies 101 last year.) It's also a good lens on Guelph tensions, as the questions of whether this Hillside is better than the last, whether there should be more people allowed in or not, or even whether the Guelphite to Outsider ratio is too high, all hang over the main stage. However, those issues are also easy enough to forget as long as you've brought your trusty mug and some money along with you.

Guelph By The Thingies: Graffiti

Downtown Guelph has many things going for it. On a brisk twenty minute walking circuit, you can go to the knitting store, pick up a used book at Macondo, and even visit the City Hall, should you ever want to see democracy in action. (I have never ever wanted to do so.)

However, downtown Guelph is not without its faults. A lot of stores do well, but there are many empty storefronts and a struggling mall right in the middle of the main square. Once the stores close, it's a wasteland until the bars open. And a block has remained burned out for years.

One of the ideas to revitalize the downtown was to move the library from it's squaretastic '70s-era digs to a new and more central location. To that end, a whole row of stores was essentially forced out. They remain empty.

Please look upon the superimposition of the street as artistic, and not the effect of annoyingly glazed windows.

If you look through the window of what used to be the Family Thrift Store, you'll see someone has spray-painted "We need communities not condos" on one of the abandoned walls. I don't think Guelph has decided whether it should agree with that sentiment or not.

Guelph By The Thingies: Real Estate Business Card

Guelph isn't all locally-sourced squares and indie bookstore newsletters, no matter what my previous entries would have you believe. So far I think I've skewed things to reflect the Guelph I mostly grew up with, which happens to be a Guelph delineated by what was in walking distance from my house.

My house was close to downtown though, which meant that I had easy access to the bakery and bookstore I talked about earlier. However, that also meant I needed a drive to Guelph's true shopping Mecca, Stone Road Mall, when it was time to go back to school.

There were cheaper clothes in other strip malls, and classier ones at boutiques downtown, but for mid-priced, middle-of-the-road style that would get you through high school (Then: The American Eagle Equilibrium. Now: Whatever It Is The Kids Like), Stone Road Mall was where it was at. And around it, there were satellite strip malls, with even more shopping options, at that time mostly Staples and the pet store.

The mall has even metastasized since I left, with more stores, a fireplace in the food court and even larger big box stores opening down the street. I walked around it all, hoping to find something that represented all the growth. But everything construction-related was safely kept away and anything else was priced. Finally, I went to guest services, where they told me the administration offices were closed and handed me a business card instead.

Maybe this "Anna Grant" has the answers to how far the Stone Road Mall will grow. I don't think it will be much, since it's already pushing its parking boundaries. Then again, who knows? Maybe they will collapse space and time around a Gap, and the mall will finally be larger than the downtown itself.

*Sorry I didn't post this last Friday - I ended up being really busy on the weekend.

Guelph By The Thingies: With The Grain Square

With The Grain is a local bakery that opened up when I was about 11. Back then, they had a tiny storefront in a house and just sold bread. Now they have risen like so many yeasty loaves to take over three buildings and offer everything edible from scones to squares to bread to jams. Basically, anything that makes the latest issue of the Globe and Mail go down easy.

And they've deserved every bit of success, because everything they sell is delicious. Also, rather dense, so you really get your money's worth. For example, the square you see here - a slice of seasonal, Ginger-Peach cheesecake - might seem pricey at $4.25. However, that's only half of the square. And considering With The Grain's philosophy of using "fresh, local, and natural ingredients" those peaches are probably real Ontario peaches (which, for people unlucky enough to grow up elsewhere, are golden orbs worthy of Zeus himself) and the ginger has been ground by donkeys at a sanctuary or something. Then again, at With The Grain, it could come from Satan himself and people would still flock there.

Tomorrow: I venture to Stone Road Mall in search of an artifact of Guelph's sprawl.

Guelph By The Thingies: Guelph Remastered Sign

Right now, construction is everywhere in Guelph. You know how the standard joke for any Canadian city is that there are two seasons, winter and construction? Well, in Guelph it seems that there are three modes. Winter, construction, and MEGA CONSTRUCT OVERDRIVE 3000. We currently appear to be in the latter, with every two blocks or so having some kind of site.

The City even has a name for it, and sadly it is not my infinitely superior version found above. Instead, it is Guelph. Remastered. The posters are actually quite pretty, but the highlight is the slogan: "It'll be worth it."

It's rare to see an ad campaign based on how unconvincing its product's premise can be. Well, at least the ads are ready to placate the irate drivers who can't use Victoria Road. If they don't work though, I have two slogans they can use instead: "Guelph: Please Bear With Us" and "Guelph: Technical Difficulties, Please Stand By." If either slogan is used, I will accept payment in City of Guelph pens and bookmarks. It'll be worth it.