Obscure File Categories, 3

From the Files of "Perfect Songs To Play Over A Shitty Car Radio On An Empty Country Road":

Jolene, Dolly Parton. I think it's the creepy mix of erotic fascination and jealousy. And the waver in the divine and bust Dolly's voice. It kind of makes the goosebumps come out, even when she's wearing a hell of a lot of purple polyester.

Obscure File #132x: Troo Canadian Confessions

I really can't muster up enthusiasm for Canadian politics. I mean, God knows I've tried. And I think I've identified my problem. I was chatting with a friend the other day, when the conversation went from Francophone zombie movies we would make, to Canadian politics (as is the logical progression for shiftless university graduates) and I made this point:
"Harper is a douche, Ignatieff is smug, and Layton has a mustache."
So, how do I fix this, ladies and gentlemen and others? Other then sending Layton a razor and some shaving cream?

Obscure File Categories, 2

From the files of "Things I Suck At"
Giving relationship advice. It's kind of like a case of the blind leading the blind, only if the first blind person was also a crystal meth addict with a shitty credit rating.

Obscure File Categories, 1

From the files of "Sexier in Theory Than in Practice":
Shopping for bras. Particularly with a mother who insists on only buying the ones in boxes because the sale is better. I will say that the new bra keeps my girls up, but it also looks like a relic from the Soviet Union and could, quite possibly, stop one of their tanks.