The Worst List Yet

This post is just turning out awkward any way I try and write it, so I'll just try and be as businesslike as possible. Okay. In a list. I like lists, as you may have gathered. Go list!

• Over the past couple of weeks, I went kind of nutty
• I spent a lot of the time crying
• Everywhere
• Anytime
• And by last couple of weeks I mean the whole damn year
• I realized I was not very intelligent
• Or attractive
• Or charming
• And everyone knew it
• So I started doing shoddy work in a bunch of my classes
• Which led to poor grades
• Which only strengthened my conviction that I was a dumbass
• That's why I started missing a lot of classes
• And phoning home crying every night to Mom and Dad like a homesick kid at summer camp
• Eventually I decided to drop out of McGill and run along home
• Through many events, even too banal to recount here, I commuted that to dropping all but one class this semester
• And not returning to McGill next year
• Which makes me embarrassed, sad, and frustrated
• Because I am coming home a complete and utter failure
• It also sucks that I will be missing out on my delightful roommate and cat for the rest of my life
• Also, Montreal
• Home of delicious chocolate
• And forced to live with my parents
• Hip-flipping Hooray!
  

What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I don't know, peeps, I don't know. I do know, however, that Gerard Butler looks mighty fine in nothing but leather manties, heh heh heh? Am I right, certain ladies and dudes? Crickets? Anyone?

The Top 5: Things That Would Somehow Manage to Make My Fortnight Worse

The last couple of days blew. The blew as if the vessels for the wind of the mighty Zeus himself. I would write more, but then I would get all snotty-nosed and nobody needs that. So, here are three things that haven't happened to me yet but probably will.

1. Herpes. Sure, I know it's not that big of a medical deal, but neither is eczema, and that pisses me the hell off. And rather like eczema, herpes never goes away.
2. While trying to dash out of my trash heap of my room and to class, I trip over my pile of dictionaries and Interweave back issues, becoming wedged underneath my bed. Forced to subside on stale gummi worms and half a bottle of Aberfoyle Springs water, I succumb after a week. Roommate finds me only after Oliver the cat has gotten a touch peckish.
3. I lose my arm in a fake metro accident. Prof asks me to provide a medical note of excuse.
4. I lose all my money to high-tech thievery.
5. Leprosy

The Top 5: Places I Want to Visit In The World

1. Australia
2. Russia and the Ukraine
3. Cyprus
4. Thailand
5. Chile and Easter Island

Almost Snow Day

I woke up in the middle of a snow globe set to spin, and still they didn't cancel school. Public schools were cancelled, but unfortunately not university.
Which meant I trekked out of the house at 8:50 in order to have a super-fun time with Professor Woodlouse and Elizabeth Smart's many cultural allusions. I've been avoiding getting my awful, awful paper back in that class for, oh, a week now. Also, avoiding my drama paper. And my Russian presentation grade. Russian in general. Cultural Studies quiz.
Life, ahem.

Anyway, after my arctic trek and first class were over, I tried to finish up the Foucault reading. Unfortunately, I can barely read him when I'm in a good mood, and trying to do so when I'm cranky and wet... leads to me going "O RLY Frenchie?" and tossing it angrily back in my backpack. Also, urgings to burn my course pack. Decided to just wing it in my Cultural Studies conference instead. Thank God that focused on the Kafka short story we had to read.
Oh, Kafka.












Remember when I had a strange, inexplicable crush on you in high school? Crazy times, you Czech weirdo. Crazy times.

Finally finished "Long Day's Journey Into Night" between naps at the library, which didn't improve my mood what with the morphine addiction and drunkenness. I was ordered by my brother to go to a concert tonight, 120 Days at the Mile End Centre, and I really wanted to, but I was cold, hungry and tired, and... it was all the way in Mile End. So I finished off the day by watching A Room With a View while eating bulk almonds and drinking tea with my roommate. And you know what?
That was actually a pretty good end to a crap day. Tomorrow is supposed to be mild, so I'm going to take advantage of that with a trip up the mountain and then Nuit Blanche.