THIS IS NOT A LIFESTYLE BLOG

Do you see that picture? Doesn't it look perfect? Apple ginger compote, complete with vanilla ice cream. Local vanilla ice cream. You can see pieces of bean in the ice cream, so you know it means business. Basically, I've shot the compote as if I was the camera man for All My Children and I was filming Susan Lucci. Can't you taste the wholesomeness?

Well, this photo is a LIE. I am no lifestyle blogger. And that compote is basically inedible.

As much as I would like to blame the eerily perfect Swedes at Green Kitchen Stories for my failure- the place from which I grabbed the recipe, with its oh-so-Scandinavian whole cardamom seeds- the fault lies not with them. Actually, no fault ever lies with them. I secretly suspect they were cyborgs manufactured by Ikea, so I would feel bad about my imperfect life and try to fill the emptiness with Bjørnsklärn candle holders.

In any case, my problems began when I couldn't find lemon balm leaves at the grocery store, and figured lemongrass would make an able and unique substitute. East Meets West! Perhaps I could blog about this recipe too! And an attractive blond named Sven would love me for it! I had never cooked with lemongrass before though, and didn't realize it was one of those cook with and then remove seasonings, like bay leaves. I chopped it up into a million little pieces, and now a bitter, woody surprise awaits anyone who bites into the compote.

It's only edible if I drown it in ice cream. I have two jars of that stuff -that's a lot of ice cream. Still, even in death we are in life, and even in cooking failure I look towards potential success. Cardamom and ginger-flavoured applesauce is such a good idea, that it has to work somehow. Just with no lemongrass, and ground cardamom instead of crunchy, soapy whole seeds, and an attractive Scandinavian family unit I am importing just for the occasion.