Om, my brothers.

I've been a very naughty girl lately.

I've even picked up a crochet hook.

I thought I had sworn off hooking ever since the Ugly Hat Debacle of Aught Four. Then I tried to make a yoga mat bag. I started off with good intentions and the Om Yoga Mat Bag pattern from Stitch and Bitch Nation. I did well for a while, but since you're knitting it lengthwise the rows are very long, and I am very capable of screwing up even the simplest lace patterns when the stitch count gets to anything above, oh, 75. So, I frogged and cast on for the Lacy Yoga Bag from the Summer '07 Interweave Knits. I knit one whole pattern repeat, and decided I wanted my bag sometime before April. God, if I wanted to knit lace that badly, I could just go the whole hog and get a Heirloom Knitting pattern. Then I remembered that crochet does at least, and possibly only, two things well. It goes quickly and it's easy to make a 3-D object. Except I couldn't find a yoga mat bag online or in books that I liked. Apparently yogis only knit between their shavasanas. So I cracked open a beer and my copy of the Happy Hooker. This bag is the result.



Pattern: The Lazy Yogini Mat Bag
Yarn: Kertzer Butterfly Super 10
Hook: 5.00 and 4.00 mm
Notes: Seriously, this took me about a night to make. All hail crochet. I started off by making a circle in double crochet just large enough to go around my mat. Then, I single crocheted around without increasing, to create the beginnings of a cylinder. I used fishnet lace for the body because it rather handily uses a multiple of four, just like my circle. Sub whatever crochet patterns fits with the number of crochet stitches of your circle, or can be fudged in. Once it went about 3/4 of the way up my bag, I did about 5 more rows in single crochet, and then bound off. You want to make it a little shorter because it will stretch in this pattern. Chain stitch until you have cord about two feet long. Thread this cord through the last row of fishnet lace before the single crochet border.

Sew on a 2" thick strip of sewn fabric, thick ribbon, or even crochet a strap for the bag. My strap came from Americo Original, and cost an obscene amount of money- I had a momentary lapse in fiscal judgment. Okay, I just didn't want to seem cheap. At first I thought it was just embroidered burlap, but after touching it, I think it's llama, or alpaca, or God knows what else. It also, hilariously, came in a classy little boutique bag that looked like it came from a lingerie store.

Toss your mat in. It may be tight the first few times, but this bag stretches. Cinch the top closed, toss it over your shoulder, and you're ready for some deep meditation, along the lines of "God, I hope I don't fart in class today."