Introducing Cascadia: The Best Place That Doesn't Exist (Yet)

Sorry about the total drought of posting- it can be blamed on a combination of things, from Marmotinis (like a regular Martini, but more endangered and expensive, and found only in the Bengal Lounge of the Empress Hotel, aka The One Place Where the Sun Has Never Set On The British Empire) to woodworking to house sitting.

But mostly, I blame Seattle. After nine months of being apart from my beloved ex-roommate Ivy McDougalhopper, we finally made plans to be in the same city. She lives in Minnesota, I live in BC, and so we ended up meeting, if not quite in the middle, then at least on her side of the border.

Seattle, of course, was lovely. Any city that offers honey-lavender and balsamic-strawberry ice cream (at Molly Moon's, in Capitol Hill) must be amazing. But it also felt strangely familiar. There were people in GoreTex, bicyclists, rainy weather, piers, fairly liberal politics... OH MY GOD, I had actually taken the wrong seaplane and ended up back in VANCOUVER.

Oh wait, no, the money is still uniformly and confusingly green. So many one dollar bills! I can't count them all! I must still be in Seattle. But it did feel a fair bit like BC. Then my coworker explained my confusion by introducing me to the fake country of Cascadia.

The Douglas Fir Flag, emblem of Cascadia. Likely to be pine-scented as well.

Cascadia is the union of Oregon, Washington, and British Columbia into an independent nation. One assumes its main exports would be lumber, agricultural products, and flannel-wearing men. And, for a fake country, it has an awful lot of real support. It's shown up in a bunch of Sci-Fi books, but more endearingly the Cascadia Cup is contested between the city's respective soccer teams (the Whitecaps, Sounders and Timbers) and three breweries put the flag on their product.

Between the soccer and the local brew, it's clearly a movement with a particular audience. I imagine the ideal Cascadian citizen being Grant Lawrence, the scruffy Cowichan sweater fan and CBC broadcaster. His favourite beer is already Phillips Blue Buck, which comes emblazoned with the Doug flag, and I'm sure Cascadian Public Radio would find a place in its heart for this man.

And I'm just in love with this idea too. From now on, I'm a dual Canadian/Cascadian citizen. Rule, Cascadia! Cascadia, rule the coast!

Comic Strips!

A few months ago on this blog, I was complaining about "Straight White Guys Buying Milk" comics, my term for indie comics that revolve around the purchasing habits and general sadness of some scruffy, beleaguered cartoonist. Then I made up a joke script, which I finally got around to illustrating in my own awkward drawing style (I call it: Canadian Primitive. Canada Council Grant, please!)

But then I started to wonder- I am white, straight-ish, and the occasional purchaser of beverages. Just because I am a girl, would that make my navel-gazing comic strips any more insightful? So, I drew one (of a true story that happened to me just a few weeks ago) to find out. And the answer? No. Which should be a surprise to no one, although I certainly put more effort into drawing it.

You can judge for yourself which side of the indie comics coin is the best, below. Click on the strips to make them bigger. Then, vote in the poll to the right. I'll only cry a little bit if you choose A.

Book Covers I Have Loved: Sleepless by Jo Anne Metsch

This cover might not be particularly powerful on its own, but consider the fact that it's a mystery. Then consider what that fact would shelve it next to: a whole lot of dark, busy covers. You know, blood splatters, shattered fonts and "The Next Steig Larsson" taglines. I know when I saw this on a table of mysteries in a bookstore, bright, crisp and very white, I wanted to read it- even if I could barely make out the title.

The copyright page says the book designer is Jo Anne Metsch, so I'll assume she was responsible for the cover as well.

Sticking to Paper and Ink

The results of the poll I ran a few weeks ago were definite- the majority of my readers have Print 4 Life tattooed over their hearts. And, I would assume, inked in that curlicue script so beloved of hip hop artists everywhere.

I'll be skipping the tattoo, but I agree with my friends. There will be no ereader for me in the near future. First of all, there's the matter of cost. I just can't justify spending over $100 on a piece of equipment when I'm still paying off student loans, trying to keep my credit card bill reasonable, and tipping a firm 20% on all my drinks.

But it's more than just finances. Since I polled my readers, I have poked at a Kobo while avoiding overeager Chapters employees, and tooled around on somebody's Kindle 2. And I've realized that one thing really bothers me. Most ereaders are about the size of a trade paperback, but the screen is only a part of that. The Kindle 2 felt particularly miserly, maybe equalling half of an average printed page. I can only imagine Kindle users with poor eyesight getting carpal tunnel syndrome of the thumb working their way through Freedom. Just. 6,000. More. Clicks. Of the Next Page. Button.

It's completely irrational, but I'm so used to the average presentation of a page that only seeing half that would feel as if I was getting half of the information. Clearly, there are many people out there who don't share my issues- Kindle downloads outsell paperbacks on Amazon.

And, should anyone find it in their hearts and wallets to gift me an iPad, I'm sure I would change my mind as well. They would have to pry that bit of shininess out of my cramped, desperately tapping, hands.

In No Particular Order, a Few Things I Miss About Quebec

I think I've almost acclimatized myself to British Columbia. But in spite of its good halibut and suspiciously fresh air, I do find myself missing Montreal every now and then. And some of the things I miss about that fair city aren't the usual suspects either (poutine.)

-Really stupid "controversies" over language. Does that disco movie, Funkytown, have too much English in it? Surely, somebody thinks so and will write a column about it.

-Lebanese places that stay open late so you can shovel garlic sauce into your gullet while drunk.

-Francophone men, the kind of guys you strongly suspect have more scarf than personality, but you don't mind because they really know how to drape that scarf.

-The days when the brewery near my house would make the whole air smell sweet, probably because they were brewing some kind of Honey Brown Ale.

-A metro system

-Meu Meu, the ice cream place with hibiscus, honey, salted chocolate flavours and more

-Monastiraki, and Billy, the delightful man who runs it.

-The cheap pitchers at Verres Stérilisés

-The sense of unearned victory you feel when you speak French to someone and- glory be- they reply in French!

-Simons, the store where you can lust after some 1,000$ designer skirt, and then actually purchase the 19$ store brand knockoff they're also carrying downstairs.

-Ms. C and Mr. Will, two wonderful friends

-The murals in the train station

That's all I can think of, for now. I would try and come up with a list for Guelph, but fear it would be a rather short one.

Book Covers I Have Loved: The Information, Cover by Peter Mendelsund

I thought this cover was a little dull at first. White space, serif type and two columns? Lucky they didn't put three on there, that would have really angered up the blood. But I kept on returning to this, even though it was on a shelf with more superficially interesting covers. And that's when its cleverness started to grow on me. Although the title, the author and one of his other credits are highlighted in red, the subtitle is not. The only thing that makes the words "A History, A Theory, A Flood" stand out is their singularity, so my brain was scanning and sorting information, even before I could start reading a book about the same.

Correction of the Correction: I thought I found the credit for the designer on the author's blog, then I thought I hadn't, but now it seems like it really is Peter Mendelsund's work. Oh God, the information!! It's too much for me!

Mystery Train: A Paragraph Review

You should watch Mystery Train if you like the music of Elvis Presley. You should watch Mystery Train if you prefer the music of Carl Perkins. And you should watch Mystery Train if you know anything about Stax Records. In short, you should probably just watch Mystery Train. It's a Jim Jarmusch movie, with the expected interweaving stories and elliptical conversations. What makes it awesome though is the chemistry between Cinqué Lee (yep- Spike's brother) and, of all people, Screaming Jay Hawkins. Lee is the bellhop and Hawkins the desk clerk in a rundown Memphis motel, and it's hard to describe how amazing they are without repeating their scenes verbatim. But they're not nearly as amusing if you can't also hear Hawkins rumbling, Voice of God tones, so let's just say that they create the funniest scene involving a Japanese plum since The Simpsons. And if you're a right-thinking person, that's all you need to know about the validity of this film.

It's Election Time: Picking Graphic Novels for Canada Reads

"If we pick the wrong book, and they read it, they don't like it, they will never read again."

-Georges Laraque on Canada Reads

In the National Post article I posted yesterday, editor Mark Medly asks an interesting question of the comic book cognescenti: “Can you think of another comic or graphic novel that might have been better received by the Canada Reads panelists?” All three conclude that it was the type of book, and not the title- and that any graphic novel would have had a steep climb winning the affection of Debbie Travis.

I say Cooke, Heer and Butcher are giving up too easily. They need to learn from the way Americans do politics: with dedication and a firm belief in magical thinking. I'll leave the attack ads down South, but will adopt the American way of bloviating about "electability." For the uninitiated, that means focusing not on the inherent qualities of a candidate, but whether they're a candidate the public will vote for.

Now, I can't poll the judges of Canada Reads, but I have gleaned the lists of past nominees and winners and listened to a couple of this year's debates. I even thought about reading a few of the past winners, but when I saw Rockbound (2005 winner) described as "The Classic Novel of Nova Scotia's South Shore", I figured I would rather light my hair on fire. I also followed the format of Canada Reads and picked five candidates: quasi-Canadian Joe Matt's Spent, Chester Brown's Louis Riel, Jillian and Mariko Tamaki's Skim, Seth's Clyde Fans and Julie Doucet's My New York Diary.

Joe Matt- Spent:
Ah, the first sacrifice. While picking books for Canada Reads, I have to keep in mind that these must be books my Mom (a CR devotee) would read, and my Mom does not want to read about masturbation. Joe Matt wallows in his sex life and porn habit. And while it would be a treat to see some Canadian icon (or, at the very least, CBC host) talk about these issues, it will never happen. Furthermore, Joe Matt was only an illegal Canadian.

Jillian and Mariko Tamaki-Skim:

I rather like Skim, and think it did a great job of making the teenaged protagonist sound wry and intelligent instead of precious. But it wouldn't win Canada Reads. For a start, it's too short- and as Cooke pointed out, Canada Reads panelists love getting reading value, which I think they calculate by dividing the number of words by the book's trade paperback price. And I think the judges would also ghettoize it as a Young Adult book. What's the difference between YA and "real lit" books that happen to have a young protagonist? They're YA if the protagonist interacts mostly with people their own age, and "real lit" if they only observe adults.

Julie Doucet- My New York Diary
The Canada Reads folks love books with a strong sense of place. It needs to telegraph that it's a Montreal book, or a salty Maritime tale, or set in a Mennonite farming community in Ontario, to make the cut. And Doucet's book is definitely strong on place- too bad it's an American place. Sure, there are parts in a very recognizable Montreal, but Canada Reads is a little xenophobic. Doucet would get a few points for being French-Canadian, but she briefly defected to our Great Southern Enemy, and is thus dead to the jury. Also, her drawings might make some of the judges feel icky.

Seth-Clyde Fans
If Clyde Fans was a novel, it would probably win. Small-town Ontario, vintage setting, depression seeping from the pages like sebum from pores? That's CBC gold, baby! And Seth already has mad CanCon cred with all those Vinyl Café covers. However, Clyde Fans doesn't offer enough on top of its manifest sadness to overcome its graphic novel status- and Book 2 still needs to be collected.

Chester Brown- Louis Riel

One thing that struck me while listening to the Canada Reads debates is how seriously the judges take their mission (see above quote.) In the first debate of this year's competition, they worry endlessly over whether this or that book is essential. "Essential," I gather from the judges, doesn't have to do with the prose style, but whether the books deal with Important Issues that are Key to Canada's Past, Present, Future or (ideally) D. All Of The Above. And so, The Birth House can be used to comment on modern technology, per Debbie Travis, and The Best-Laid Plans will rescue us from political stagnation, per That CNN Guy.

Well, Louis Riel is a book full of Important Issues. There's the Important Issue of the Métis, the Important Issue of Riel's fraught place in Canadian history, the Important Issue of the fine line that divides madness from inspiration. Also, it's definitely a Manitoba book, and it's fairly hefty for a graphic novel. Length and a sense of place? That feels good in your hands while you're catching up on The Current on CBC. So, if you want a graphic novel with electability, vote for Louis Riel in '12.

Rumble Between the Panels: Canada Reads and Essex County

If you're Canadian and care about comic books, you might have heard: A graphic novel was one of the Canada Reads nominees this year, then was knocked off by the panel on the very first day. And although Essex County still won the People's Choice award, the way the book was treated on air has caused some consternation among comic books fans.

Then again, if there is one group of people known to consternate to the extreme, it's comic book nerds. A certain amount of distemper is to be expected. What is fascinating, though, is how mainstream the debate has come. In a panel printed in the (shudder) National Post, writer Darwyn Cooke gets testy when describing this year's judges:

"There was a British interior designer, an ex-pat CNN talking head, a Native Canadian fifth billed sitcom star, a pop singer/songwriter and so on*. It seems obvious the CBC was more interested in making the group seem like whatever Canadians call a hip celebrity jury than recruiting relevant or critical thinkers."

Cooke and the other panelists (store manager Christopher Butcher and journalist/critic Jeet Heer) shouldn't rend their garments just yet, though. Getting to read this kind of comic book talk in a national newspaper shows that graphic novels are, at least fitfully, seen as something more than raw material for Hollywood blockbusters.

Perhaps denying Essex County the big award is better for graphic novels than slapping that 'winner' sticker on the cover. A win can be seen as an anomaly, barely mentioned and forgotten after a year. Cooke mentions in passing that Fun Home was Time's Book of the Year in 2006, but I doubt that many Time subscribers have picked up a graphic novel since then. By inciting a debate that's picked up by popular media, Canada Reads might have just proven, in spite of itself, that graphic novels are as interesting and valuable as their prose-only relatives.

Tomorrow: I pick up on a Jeet Heer comment from that same article to discuss the "electability" of various other Canadian graphic novels. For the rest of tonight: I go to a concert.

*As my co-worker rightly noted, Cooke left out "energy drink-shilling, Haitian-Canadian hockey pugilist and Green Party member." Or maybe Cooke realized that George Laraque's credentials made him seem kind of righteous.

Book Pile for February 19th

If I actually go through with it and buy an ereader (don't forget the poll to the side!), these posts would be pretty boring. "Oh, look, here's my Kindle. It's just like last week's Kindle, but this week I dropped it on the sidewalk and so the corner is dented. Also, I am reading three new books." Well, until the digital age comes for us all:

1. Not a Book, but Still Awesome: The new Mug of Choice, from Blackbird Studios.

2. The "She's one of the good Mitford sisters, not one of the fascists" Reading: Irrepressible: The Life and Times of Jessica Mitford, Leslie Brody.

3. CanCon Reading: The Canterbury Trail, Angie Abdou

4. Current Reading: The Hireling, L.P. Hartley

5. "Shut up, It's Slow Going" Reading: Still The Penguin History of Canada, Robert Bothwell