A Tribute to Alpha Flight: Fighting for Peace, Order and Good Government

Alpha Flight. Northstar is on the far left, Guardian is second from the right and Puck is the little guy at the bottom.

Whatever may happen under the new Canada-US border agreement, we will still be sovereign when it comes to superheroes. You don't know about Alpha Flight? Think Captain Canuck is our only hero? Please, Alpha Flight is like ten Captain Canucks. Or at least one Captain Canuck (Guardian, aka James MacDonald Hudson) and nine other assorted Canadian stereotypes. Created by John Byrne in 1979, Alpha Flight first tried to retrieve Wolverine for the Canadian government, as they probably had to cut 30 arts grants to afford that adamantium skeleton and wanted it back. Eventually they branched out of cameos in X-Men and into their own series, which waxes and wanes in and out of existence as the circulation figures permit. They're in an off period at the moment. Alpha Flight's latest series was canceled in October. But it's a team worth looking into, to see which Canadian traits are deemed essential for consumption by our neighbours down south. These traits include, apparently, short, hairy bouncers from Saskatchewan named Eugene (Codename: Puck). I'm not sure what to make of that. But I will take pride in Northstar, aka Jean-Paul Beaubier, who was one of the first openly gay characters in mainstream comics. Although a separatist could argue that he was Québécois, and not Canadian, I will maintain that Alpha Flight is one of those rare places where the two solitudes are reconciled.

Patrick Chan And Figure Skating Drama

THE CANADIAN PRESS/Jacques Boissinot

There's a lot of drama in sports, but there's no sports drama like figure skating drama. For one thing, there are sequins. Canada had some recently, when a months-old interview with Patrick Chan surfaced on Reuters. Chan said he felt unappreciated in Canada, and compared it to the support he likely would have experienced competing for China. The Canadian public... proved him correct by largely reacting with indifference. But I could have predicted the response of people who did care, like this Globe and Mail letter writer:

"His reflections on how much more support he might have if he were skating for China seem insensitive to the fact his parents were fortunate to leave an oppressive Communist regime and find a welcome home here."

This may be all the defense I can muster for someone who gets to wear a "billowy red shirt and black slacks accented with slashes of red" as part of his day job, but the insensitive thing might be comparing his thoughts on which nation claps louder for a triple lutz to ignoring an oppressive regime. The real question may be how much any country should care, or pay for, athletics programs that seem to function as the bragging chips of nationalism. But that’s a question that could fairly be asked of any amateur athlete, and not just one whose parents happen to be Chinese. Overall, this all takes away from the real news in skating: Half of the French ice dance couple was dressed like an honest-to-Set mummy for their free skate. My word.

Domestic Thursday: Socks, Tea Cozy, Winter Beard

Pattern: Acorn Tea Cozy by Véronik Avery, in Knitting 24/7
Yarn: Briggs and Little Tuffy in Red Mix
I promised my friend Joel a tea cozy. About 20 months ago. First I knit one, then I knit another. I'm still not proud of the second one, which I should have really knit with the yarn held doubled to produce a stiffer fabric. But if I balance the top just so, it will still stand up and look acorn-like instead of flopping over. I mailed this to Belgium anyway, where Joel has traitorously decamped post-graduation. Hopefully he won't take this as some kind of veiled commentary on his virility, of which I am happily ignorant.

Another pattern from Knitting 24/7 that at least seems destined for greater success,are these Lace Cable Socks. I'm a little wary of the garter stitch toe and heel, but I'll give Ms. Avery the benefit of the doubt. For now. *Gives squinty eye in the general direction of Montréal.*

And here's this week's beer, the Winter Beard Double Chocolate and Cranberry Stout from Muskoka Brewery. This is the beer I was hinting about last week, the rare chocolate stout brewed with actual dark chocolate and real cranberries, along with the expected chocolate malt. The result is heavy on the caramel flavours, with a cocoa kick. I smelled the cranberry but didn't really taste it. The ABV is a decent 8%, which explains why my Mom went from disliking to loving the beer after one glass. Even if you don't want a heavy, sweet stout this Christmas, it's worth buying to hang the adorable bottle on your tree as a kind of awkwardly oversized, perhaps semi-depressing, decoration.

Book Covers I Have Loved: Eat Me, Kenny Shopsin

This is one of my favourite cookbooks, and it has one of my favourite covers. But Eat Me is not the book I cook from the most. Of its 288 pages, I have made only three recipes. But it changed my life. In a world of tomes about El Bulli and Pollan-penned tracts about our diets, I was beginning to stress out about dinner. A casserole? Laziness! Buying pre-made kimchi instead of fermenting it myself? Shameful! But Kenny Shopsin, the foul-mouthed, philosophic cook, showed me the light with four letter words. You make good food, don't use shitty ingredients, find some shortcuts and don't give a fuck about the fat content.

He also came up with the idea of mac and cheese pancakes, so he's clearly a genius. And his daughter, Tamara Shopsin, shows that it's in the genes with this beautiful cover. The perfect, bright colours, the fun font, and the cut-out egg with the pull tab. It tells you not to pull, but of course Kenny would and you should too. Instead of the title and author info, you'll see a plate of breakfast.

My Team, Mon Amour

This post was inspired by something ridiculous I read on Grantland. Bill Simmons got a letter from a reader who compared the Buffalo Bills to a bad relationship. And I quote (in part), "You know, the kind where you are dating a guy and he eventually becomes comfortable with you and feels like you are such a good pal he no longer has to impress you by buying gifts and taking you to nice dinners and next thing you know you are in a relationship that is so non-exciting you decide to break it off." Which made me think- what if I described all of my favourite sports teams as oddly specific and extremely detailed boyfriends? Read on to see what happens when a simile is pushed too far.

Hi, honey(s)! (Photo: Andy Lyons/Getty Images North America)

NFL
The Green Bay Packers: They're like that boyfriend you have that perfect relationship with, and it irritates everybody else. Eventually you take the irritation nationwide by being profiled in the "Vows" section of the New York Times. You'll say stuff like "I always admired his/their integrity, notably the fact that they are the only publicly owned team in the NFL" and they'll say stuff like "She was always there for me, we could collectively talk to her for hours" and then there would be a picture of you getting married in Central Park or whatever. Some years might be rougher than others, but you'll always work through your problems with a package vacation at a Sandals resort.

NHL
The Montreal Canadiens: They're like that French-Canadian boyfriend you had in university, who wore scarves really well and came from a preeminent Montreal family, but had a lot of baggage. Now and then he would have a meltdown and destroy your apartment, or maybe just a part of Rue Ste. Catherine. Every year you figured would be *the* year, but he never really brought home the hardware and eventually you stopped expecting him to. Now you dodge his calls.

NBA
The Memphis Grizzlies: They're like that boyfriend you had because you were both 10 and you thought the drawings of angry grizzly bears on his duotang revealed a tortured soul. He had a rat tail and you held hands by the chainlink fence. Then his dad got transferred to an office in Memphis right after Christmas. You're not sure what he does now, he might have been on strike for a while, but you're sure that's he's long since stopped spelling "neighbour" and "colour" with their proper u's.

MLS
The Toronto FC: They're like that high school boyfriend you dated for no other reason than geographical proximity. Eventually you broke up when you went to school in another province, and he started working at Milestones Bar and Grill.

MLB
N/A: You don't have a baseball team/"boyfriend." You hate baseball. If baseball teams have to be boyfriends, then you are an out and proud baseball lesbian.

Canada's Hollywood... is South of Wawa

In the two or so years since graduation, I have lost the habit of reading academic writing. So it was no surprise that I ended up mired in the swamps of Canada's Hollywood. I checked it out expecting a breezy discussion of Canadian filmmaking, and found instead a rigorously-researched, footnoted and factchecked inquiry into the history of governmental involvement in Canadian film. There were even... tables. I shouldn't have let myself be fooled by the gold foil on the cover. I should have checked the spine. The University of Toronto Press imprint would have been fair warning.

But persevering was rewarding, if you count the gift of guilt. The guilt of my weak support for Canadian movies, in particular. I'll see about one every month or two, compared to dozens of American or European films. There's no reason for it, I've seen Canadian movies I've liked. Great ones like Léolo and Mon Oncle Antoine. And ones that aren't great, but you can't help liking more anyway. Like South of Wawa, which has some lovably inept hockey scenes and tonnes (yes that's metric, we're in Canada) of smalltown Ontario. How can anyone resist a movie whose tagline was "Endless Love - Passionate Dreams - Cream-Filled Donuts"? Apparently some of the raters at IMDB could. But don't listen to the haters, watch it yourself. If you do, I personally vow to see every Canadian movie that comes my way. Whether that includes American movies starring Ryan Reynolds, I leave you to decide.

Domestic Thursday: Whoopie Pies and Stout

American Thanksgiving has passed. The piped-in carols have arrived. The Christmas season is upon us. Truth is, I have always loved Christmas, in spite of my atheist cred. But even those who don't get as excited as I do by the sight of holiday specials on the TV schedule likely appreciate the baked goods and booze. Recently, I made a recipe that combined them both.


Meet Gingerbread Whoopie Pies with Rum Filling, the star of this week's domestic Thursday. The cookie base comes from this McCormick's recipe, which uses lemon crème for the filling. I ignored that part. Not nearly boozy enough. Instead I found a recipe online for rum buttercream icing, which seemed like an awesome idea, especially since I had some Kraken Spiced Rum in the cabinet. With a slightly I've made these twice this season. Paired with a Dark and Stormy made from the same bottle of rum, they've been making my spirits bright and it's only the first of December. Just imagine how jolly/bloated I'll be when the 24th comes around.

Instructions:
Cookies: This recipe, with some minor alterations:
3 cups flour
2 teaspoons ground ginger
1 teaspoon ground cinnamon
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon ground nutmeg
pinch of cloves
1/4 teaspoon salt
3/4 cup butter, softened
3/4 cup firmly packed brown sugar
1/2 cup blackstrap molasses
1 egg
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

Filling: Slightly adapted from this recipe:
1/2 cup softened butter
1 package powdered sugar
4 tablespoons rum
2 tablespoons milk
1 teaspoon vanilla extract

1. Mix dry ingredients (flour, ginger, cinnamon, baking soda, nutmeg, cloves and salt) in a medium bowl. Set aside. Beat butter and brown sugar in a large bowl with your mixer until nice and fluffy. Add molasses, egg and vanilla; beat well. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until well mixed. Press dough into a thick flat disk. Wrap in plastic wrap. Refrigerate 4 hours or overnight.
2. Preheat oven to 350°F. Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Place 2 inches apart on baking sheets lined with parchment paper. (I've found I've had better results getting cookie spread, and thus more manageable cookie sandwiches, if I press the balls flat-ish before baking.)
3. Bake 8 to 10 minutes or until edges of cookies just begin to brown. Remove and cool completely. COMPLETELY. Otherwise your icing will melt all over the place.
4. Beat butter for the icing with a mixer until nice and creamy. Slowly add about a cup of the powdered sugar, beating slowly until blended. Add the liquid ingredients (rum, milk, extract), beating until blended. Add powdered sugar until you get the consistency you like.
5. Assemble whoopie pies by taking one cookie, topping the flat side with a decent amount of icing, then adding another cookie on top. Then eat.


And here is this week's domestic beer, the Smoked Oatmeal Stout from Trafalgar Ales and Meads. Since my last experience with a smoked beer was like drinking a liquified charcoal briquette, I was wary. But this was only subtly smoky, and as hearty as any good stout. While we're on the topic of stouts, I was shocked to find out that most "chocolate" or "coffee" stouts are rarely brewed with either of those foods, with the flavour coming from the darker roast of the malt instead. There are exceptions, and I hope to talk about one of them next week. But oatmeal stouts are brewed with real oats, which makes them smooth instead of particularly oat-y. So, drink this or McAuslan's, and you won't be drinking A PINT OF LIES.

Guilty Graphic Pleasure: Frankenstein Agent of S.H.A.D.E.

Is it possible to describe something as a "guilty pleasure" without condescending to the object you find so pleasurable? I ask because I have been searching for a better term to describe Frankenstein: Agent of S.H.A.D.E., one that makes it clear that I both acknowledge its silliness while deeply respecting Jeff Lemire's writing. Yeppers, R-E-S-P-E-C-T even though it contains such gems as:

"Khalis took out the spider-like forms on this continent, but we still need to take care of the ogres and the sea monsters before this thing makes it to Earth!"

In fact, especially because it contains sentences like that. Frankenstein: AoS is smart in the way Raiders of the Lost Ark is smart- it distills something essential about old-fashioned entertainment, tempered with enough modern humour so the result is something fresher than a simple pastiche. Think Sgt. Fury and His Howling Commandos, with the cast of the Munsters instead of human soldiers. Max fun.

Save Our T-Shirts First: The Made in America Store

Thanksgiving is a day of tradition and ritual for Americans. And Black Friday is a day of tradition and ritual for some Canadians, that is, my family. On Thursday Americans carve a turkey, and on Friday the Hunters order fried chicken. On Thursday Americans give thanks, and on Friday the Hunters curse LSU's irritatingly deep football team. On Thursday many Americans ignore the troubling colonial baggage of the holiday, and on Friday the Hunters ignore the moral bankruptcy of the NCAA, the BCS, and the culture of collegiate athletics in the US as a whole. But on both days all parties watch football, because that is the American way. And if you don't love it... you can leave it!


That's a product from the Made in America store. Store motto: "Because China is a Long Drive to Work!" Store location: Elma, NY. There were ads for this place during commercial breaks on Buffalo, NY television, so it's not an elaborate Internet hoax. There's really a faux-Colonial outlet where you can buy confusing (but 100% American-manufactured) shirts that have a picture¹ of the flag-raising at Iwo Jima and the slogan: "The United States of America... Love it or leave it!" But leave what? Iwo Jima, which is a Japanese island? Shouldn't that ellipsis be a colon? Perhaps not? Ah, questions.


But while I would love to sit here and play smug Canadian about this store and its products... I can't. Well, at least I can't until I mention this artwork depicting Jesus comforting a crying Santa in front of a memorial to the victims of 9/11. That's just whack. But the store is a reaction to a real problem, as the manufacturing sector has crumbled in the US, taking the middle class down with it. Writing up a protectionist shopping list may not be the solution to the problem. And a quick glance at the online store shows just how untenable it would currently be- ladies wanting closed-toe shoes are shit out of luck, for starters. The only footwear they sell "for her" are the Okabashi Maui Hot Pink Sandals. But this store's existence is still a sign of engagement with the problem, even though direct political action might be more efficient than purchasing a pair of Maui Hot Pink Sandals before a long, cold winter.

There's also an emotional fulfillment that the Made in America store is selling, along with its t-shirts. In oh so many ways, the MIA store aesthetic of stars, stripes, and servicemen is the complete opposite of Etsy's "put a bird on it"² look. But deep down, the motivations of shoppers may not be so different. Not only is it easy to go through life without making anything yourself, it's almost required. And without those manufacturing jobs, you may not be making anything at work either. Divorced from the labour needed to produce stuff, even though not from the labour required to buy it, we value our stuff less. We don't feel connected to the stuff. But through these two means, shoppers can experience that connection with our stuff again just by "knowing" the maker. At the MIA store: an imaginary community decided by the country of manufacture. In Etsy world: the redheaded chick with the severe bangs who makes felt hedgehogs.

1. Actually, it may be a photo of a stature of the iconic photo of the flag raising at Iwo Jima, which is just confusing to write.
2. Portlandia, IFC.

Arkham City and Bonus Bats

Buy one, get one free

An interesting thing I've noticed in TV commercials: In spots for the video game Batman: Arkham City, the 1994 movie Batman Forever is being offered as, essentially, a bonus feature. Buy the game and the Schumacher flick is yours to download and keep in the cloud... if you haven't torrented it already. I'll admit that video games aren't really my bag, but that has more to do with my upbringing, where they were banned, than with any assumptions I hold regarding their artistic merit. I'm no Roger Ebert. Theoretically, I think video games could be art, but I still think it's unfortunate to package a feature-length film as an extra on something that's not even a movie.

First, because I'm not sure how much use the players of Arkham City and the pleasures (interactivity, control) I'll assume it brings will have for the very different pleasures of a film (surrender to spectacle, rubber nipples on batsuits.) Second, because it seems vaguely insulting to sell a separate creative enterprise as the superfluous add-on of another. My favourite DVD extras are those, like documentaries or commentaries, that comment on the work itself. Even when manufacturers throw in another film as filler- God bless public domain- it's usually at least an earlier, silent version of the same story. I don't know. I just have this vague dread that it's setting a bad precedent. And that I've spent too much time worrying about a movie that features Jim Carrey in Spandex.