Maps and Bar Legends

I just spent three hours playing geography quizzes online. This is, shamefully and honestly, more time than I ever spent studying for my one high school geography class. 

And what's it all for?

To do better at bar trivia, of course. It's not about bettering myself. It's about doing better than the three middle aged guys who always sit at the bar, Pinky and the Brains (formerly God's Particles.)

The trivia questions come from PubStumpers, an outfit that's clearly run by boomers for boomers, so the Brains have a natural advantage. They were all alive when Falcon's Crest, Dallas, and Dynasty were on; they can make meaningful distinctions between those shows. I count it as a victory that I can list them. My knowledge of celebrity trivia and eighties pop songs is no match for their lived experience of Dad culture.

I need to improve in other areas. Starting with geography, because Andorra... is not where I thought it was. I would have guessed the Caribbean. It's in Europe, of course. 

This is marginally less embarrassing than when I thought Guyana was a small island in the (again!) Caribbean. I don't know why the Caribbean has become the go-to destination in my brain for when I'm unsure of a country's location, like it's a global junk drawer and I'll find Andorra there next to some orphaned pen caps and a spool of kitchen twine. 

But there it is. So I either learn more about the world I live in, or I go to plan B: catching Pinky and/or a Brain in my honey trap. I'll excite them with my youthful energy, turn them into a double agent, and make them ID Marla Maples on the photo round so I don't have to.