Action Movie Buddy Seeks Same

While casting about oh so fruitlessly on Facebook for someone - ANYONE - who would see the 80s action classic Miami Connection with me at TIFF, I came to a realization. My Toronto friends don't like action movies.

Which means I must not have any true Toronto friends at all... right? 

No, my friends are just too classy for me. Well, to solve this problem, I turned to the same place which had solved so many in the past. Or at least the place which helped me sell my old crockpot: Craigslist. In the "strictly platonic" section, I posted the following ad:

While I love all my friends dearly, these friends don't seem to love cult action movies. What? I know! Shameful. So I'm looking for people who would get as excited about screenings of They Live! and Miami Connection as I do. (Cross-posting to both genders, because ass-kicking knows no labels.)  

Since I chose the "strictly platonic" section, this naturally meant I was looking for the following type of reply:

You sound "A" OKee but the problem with you is your age. Basic data: I am single, white, born and raised in Europe, blond & blue eyed, 52 y.o.a., 5'11", clean shaven, no tattoos, no STDs, no smokes, no drugs. I am straight, "naturally dominant", mature, sane with a good sense of humour.

Oh yeah. The problem with me is my age. Instead of your age. And YOU. And oh, Craigslist. Where nothing is ever truly platonic. Not even, probably, the "for sale: rvs" section.