Readers, a confession: I AM BALDING. My friends and family insist that it's nothing but the product of my Woody Allen-esque levels of anxiety, but whatever. What do they know? I've googled "female thinning hair," so I'm an expert. Clearly. But between the assurances of my family, and the fear mongering of the internet, it levels out into a sense of dread every time I look in a mirror. My hair used to be many things- mostly frizzy, unmanageable, occasionally achieving a state of curly perfection - but it was never thin. The bathtub was clogged within weeks when I moved to my last place, and I've broken off comb teeth in my hair.
Where did it all go? Let's say it was a combination of work stress and... lupus (thanks, Internet!), moving on to figuring out what to do when the final hair falls from my head. Comic books have taught me that an exciting career in super villainy is open to me. Perhaps Lex Luthor wasn't born bad, he just went bald. Though I guess Professor X is a positive role model. I'm trying to think of any bald female comic book characters, and I'm mostly thinking of aliens. In movies, there are plenty of bald ladies, but they're also sick bald ladies, destined to improve the lives of others before they pass on in a most videogenic way. I won't be one of them. I don't have a deadly disease, and even if I did, I would like to spend my final days drunkenly berating everyone who ever wronged me. Pop culture has left me adrift. What should I do, readers? Charge fifty cents a rub?
2 comments:
55 cents a rub! (you need to put a little extra away, in case the hair starts growing in unwanted places :O)
I'm balding too! It used to freak me out when clumps of hair would fall out in the shower, but now I suppose I've accepted it as a natural stage in becoming older?
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