You should support your local library. Not only do they provide free books and a place for society’s finest to consume their 40s in peace, but they’re also bringers of joy. For example, take Power Colors!, a fine product of Kosmic Korners Press, circa 1994.
The following quotes were found my flipping to a page in the book at random, reading a sentence, and then copying it verbatim:
- “For instance, ladies, a little touch of red near the face, a scarf or a necklace, is very attractive to a man.” [Also try: blood. Then you’ll look hot AND numbnuts crazy.]
- “Strong, I have truly found the Power in Passivity!”
- “... turning the dancing rays of sunlight into a jagged clawing bolt of obstinacy.”
- “... and so could Cantaloupe, you lucky Olive, you!”
- “Ever travel through a mist in the car or hypnotically stare into a fog?” [Ever get into a completely preventable car accident? Then you might be a Chartreuse!”]
- “The right tones will titillate a tycoon, or vibrate a casual friendship into a volatile Vesuvius.”
- “Egypt knew. Atlantis knew. The ad and marketing industries know.”
- “Plummmmmm......just savor the luscious hummmmmmm.”
- “To quell hunger pangs, drink a glass of mentally transformed Chartreuse water.”
- “It is a pink that goes to your soul giving you the license to perform magic!”
Beneath all the woo-woo and mockery though, I was touched. Touched, first of all, that they thought beige and cantaloupe were two intimately related colours. But, more meaningfully, touched by its earnestness.
Power Colors! doesn’t want you to be better- it wants you to be happier. And they don’t ask you to make hard choices or painful sacrifices to achieve this goal. They really believe you can do it all just by tapping into those colours, and painting a new version of yourself. Er, one that’s hopefully less horrifying than the portrait on the inside cover.
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