Friday, May 28, 2010

Dispatches From the Job Hunt

Looking for jobs, applying for jobs and going for interviews are three of the things I dislike most in life. Sure, I probably hate Glenn Beck and ebola more, but I don't have to actually encounter those things in my daily life. Yet. Job hunting, on the other hand, has become my new hobby, now that the weather's cooled down enough that I can't say "sweating."

Sadly, however, I'm an English-speaking Cultural Studies major in a bilingual city where all the job postings seem to be ridiculously qualified. Today, I've found postings for a plant assistant, an assistant hockey coach, and a "science and innovation officer." Come and gaze with me, if you will, into my cover letter for the first position:

"Although I may not have the expected qualifications of a degree in horticulture, I do have a degree in Cultural Studies. As you can see, both degrees involve culture of some kind. I know it's not much, but it's a start. And as Dorothy Parker once said, you can lead a whore to culture, but you can't make her think. I am no whore. Please hire me."

I am expecting a call back at any moment.

3 comments:

Stitchy said...

Aww marty! Please tell me you actually sent that cover letter?

My search has been fruitless as well, though, i am contemplating going to florist school. Check it out!

Max said...

You're my hero Marty. Don't ever change. By which I mean don't become a whore. Also stay awesome

Protagitron said...

Caitlin: Sadly, I did not. Florist school would be fun though.

Max: But whore was totes going to be my next job application!