This Post Brought To You By 1999

I really like The Onion AV Club. It's educational while being accessible and snarky, but not snide. Basically, it's the anti-Pitchfork, if Pitchfork was ever interested in more than music. So, I read it often, which means I've been following their Then That's What They Called Music feature. It looks at those weird, annoying Now! compilations that were ubiquitous around the time I was buying my first Bonne Bell Lip Smacker.

The most recent column, on Now! 2 reminded me of the existence of this little pop gem.

Is it me, or does the music video have some frighteningly sinister undertones? And how painful millennial are the clothes? Christ, I remember it all, from the bucket hats to the baggy pants/short tank top combos.

Now, I used to have this theory that it takes 20 years for things to become delightfully retro again. However, clearly things have speeded up and with all the '90s parties I've been to, it's more like 10-15. Keeping that in mind, we should be experiencing the bucket hat renaissance any day now. So, which of the following fashion statements do you think will become acceptable again?

-Tearaway pants
-Bowling-style shirts
-Knit hats and tank tops on the fellahs
-Excessive metallic eyeshadow
-Chunky shoes
-Men's hair that's mid-length and parted down the middle

I'm hoping the last one, because it is flattering on no one and is thus fair to all.