Breaking News?

Artist's Rendering of My Mother

I'm beginning to suspect something about my Mom. I'm beginning to think that she has... powers. I should have known years earlier, when she had an unnatural ability to know when I was hiding books before bed, and where. But that was just a simple case of telepathy. Now, she's managed to collapse a truly righteous amount of stuff including one knitting project, many articles of clothing, a down coat, two pairs of shoes, many books, more DVDs, and a slow cooker, into one suitcase. People, I am left with one conclusion: my Mom can collapse the space-time continuum.
Hmm.
I hope she doesn't go all Dark Phoenix, as that would really destroy my graduation plans.