My New Friend

Bookshelf... or catshelf?

The day of the crap e-mail, I was in a foul mood because I made a public ass of myself twice- very, very loudly- in my econ stats class. First, I blurted out an exponentially wrong answer once, and then again, and then three times because I wanted to make the situation completely hopeless. You know, saying the wrong thing once you can explain away as a cough, twice as some sort of nervous tic, but three times? You're just dumb. Then I asked the prof to show me something he had just finished showing the class. He looks suspiciously like Santa Claus too, from the snow white beard to the square glasses, and knowing that I was now consigned to finding only coal and Statistics for Idiots textbooks in my stocking did not make me feel any better about myself. Until today.

In that class, we get a much-needed break halfway through the class, where we can all toddle off to smoke, check our e-mail, or get hosed at the vending machine. I was idly browsing online, checking The Comics Curmudgeon, when I heard a jolly voice behind me. "Ooo, comic strips!" I almost put my face through the monitor- I have a low shock threshold- and turned around. It was Professor Kris Kringle! I slurred something inarticulate about how it was a blog that made fun of lame comics, praying I hadn't scrolled down to an entry about someone fucking Marmaduke the dog. "Surely that's not still around, is it?" he asked, pointing to... Dick Tracy. Not June Morgan's breasts, praise Jesus. We then proceeded to have an awkward conversation where I blathered about Mary Worth, Dick Tracy's lovers, and the horror of the upcoming Liz/Anthony union on For Better or For Worse. I mercifully lurched to an awkward pause after I had used "lame" for the thirteenth time. "And I get to it by accessing... joshreads.com?" he asked. "Yes," I said. "Thank you," he replied, repeating "joshreads.com, joshreads.com... I will have to check it out" as he headed back to the classroom.

I can't wait to see what mark I get when he realizes I've ruined the Family Circus for him.