Dear Mr. Skunk,
While I admire your tenacity in making it in the big city, it would be nice if you could spray somewhere that is not right underneath my apartment window. I am currently agonizing over a minor life choice, and your fragrant emissions are adding a certain unfortunate je-ne-sais-quoi to my cogitations. Try the entrance to the Atwater Metro, it's not like your stink would stick out there.
And yes, Mr. Skunk, I realize that I am thinking way too much about this, and that I'm taking my stress out on you, but... but... you smell bad. So there.
Yours,
Protagitron
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