The Worst List Yet

This post is just turning out awkward any way I try and write it, so I'll just try and be as businesslike as possible. Okay. In a list. I like lists, as you may have gathered. Go list!

• Over the past couple of weeks, I went kind of nutty
• I spent a lot of the time crying
• Everywhere
• Anytime
• And by last couple of weeks I mean the whole damn year
• I realized I was not very intelligent
• Or attractive
• Or charming
• And everyone knew it
• So I started doing shoddy work in a bunch of my classes
• Which led to poor grades
• Which only strengthened my conviction that I was a dumbass
• That's why I started missing a lot of classes
• And phoning home crying every night to Mom and Dad like a homesick kid at summer camp
• Eventually I decided to drop out of McGill and run along home
• Through many events, even too banal to recount here, I commuted that to dropping all but one class this semester
• And not returning to McGill next year
• Which makes me embarrassed, sad, and frustrated
• Because I am coming home a complete and utter failure
• It also sucks that I will be missing out on my delightful roommate and cat for the rest of my life
• Also, Montreal
• Home of delicious chocolate
• And forced to live with my parents
• Hip-flipping Hooray!
  

What am I going to do with the rest of my life? I don't know, peeps, I don't know. I do know, however, that Gerard Butler looks mighty fine in nothing but leather manties, heh heh heh? Am I right, certain ladies and dudes? Crickets? Anyone?