... And A Happy New Year

I was going to start this year with a list of my resolutions, but I found it difficult to write them down. My track record when it comes to New Year resolutions? Craptacular. I think "Lose 20 pounds" has been in constant rotation for about, oh, six years. So, why not come up with a new goal every month? A new, easy to accomplish goal? Set the bar low people, and you never have to risk painful defeat. Or even defeat at all. And before someone ships me a bulk order of those motivational posters (Hey poster people, I have a proposal for you: "Success pays more than failure costs" and a picture of spawning salmon. Call me!), and highlight certain quotations, let me tell you: I'm not setting about winning hockey games, or conquering lands for empire. I just want to get through life and die with money in the bank, something funny on TV and not smelling too rank. So,

January's goal:
GET A HAIRCUT- AND TRY A DIFFERENT ONE WHILE YOU'RE AT IT.
This may seem like a perfectly reasonable, ordinary item on the monthly to-do list. I, on the other hand, am incapable of making hair appointments. Part of the problem is that my curly hair is kept fairly long, so any scruffy overgrowth blends in for a while. That still doesn't explain why I went a whole year without getting a new haircut. Every so often, my mom would ask me over the phone if I wanted her to book one back in Guelph for when I visited, and every time I would promise her I would phone the very next day, because it was important to find a place in Montreal since I was living there. What if a hair-related emergency emerged? There would be nobody in a charming angular cut and black clothes to guide me to safety. Well, April rolled around, I came back to Guelph to work for the summer, and got my hair cut at the same place I usually get my hair cut. That will not stand this time, however. A simple plan of easing myself into the job of phoning for hair appointments will be implemented: this year once a semester, next year twice a semester, and the year after I should graduate with the hair habits of the average girl. I'm also going to get a cut slightly different from my usual trim, but not too radical. The last time I asked for a change, I ended up looking like a dead musk ox had been stapled to my head.